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Rotten No More: New Sandler Movie Earns High Tomato Score

In a universe where up is down, left is right, and where we’re still trying to figure out why anyone thought mullets were a good idea, we’ve been hit with a headline that’s left us more bewildered than a cat watching a laser pointer. Adam Sandler, the cinematic maestro behind… let’s diplomatically call them unique choices… like Jack and Jill, The Cobbler, and let’s not forget the masterpiece that is Pixels, has done something that’s left our jaws on the floor.

His latest opus, “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah,” is basking in the glow of a near perfect Rotten Tomatoes score. Yes, the very same Rotten Tomatoes that we’re fairly certain once pondered creating a “Soggy Tomato” category after watching some of his previous… endeavors.

We’ve seen some curveballs in our time. We’ve seen the rise and fall of disco, we’ve seen socks with sandals become a fashion statement (why, people, why?), but this? This is like finding out that the guy who used to eat crayons in kindergarten is now a renowned art critic. The film, a tale of teenage drama, Bat Mitzvah blunders, and the age-old story of friendship and betrayal, is being hailed as a “cinematic gem.” By “gem,” we mean “Sandler, are you sure you made this?”

Critics, who once used Sandler films as a benchmark for how not to make movies, are now singing praises, dropping names like Judy Blume and John Hughes. Meanwhile, in our humble abode, we’re left scratching our heads, wondering if there’s a secret film school where Grown Ups 2 is dissected for its deep cinematic nuances.

But hey, in a world where we’ve seen a reality star become president and where pineapple on pizza is still a topic of heated debate, maybe, just maybe, Sandler becoming the darling of critics was the next logical step. Who’s laughing now?

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah lands on Netflix this week (August 25)